portrait practice. [135:365] [23:52]

portrait practice. [135:365] [23:52]
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden

when it comes to portraits, there's this technique i've been trying hard to achieve. i usually see it in the photos of people who have the large format cameras and so maybe that's the key and i should just give up, but i'm going to keep trying... it's the idea that you can get lots of fine, fine detail without too much grain, softness without too much glow, lens softness, or obvious noise reduction etc. the perfect balance of both, you know? at lot of it comes down to the lens too, which is why i've made the recent investments that I have, but I can see that processing plays its role. so i've had lots of fun trying to figure it out for the last couple weeks or months. and i'm getting a lot closer.

and this is what i love about flickr. everytime i see something that i like, i go crazy trying to learn how to do it. it started with those little custom bokeh shapes. i was obsessed with knowing how and then achieving it on my own. once i did it, it was like ok boring now that I know how, been there done that. some things stick, though. Like the snowkeh, that is an example of something i'll add to my repertoire and arsenal and use again in the future. And creative but appropriate use of shallow dof...the list goes on and I'm looking forward to making it longer.

Photography is a constant process of learning and i think that's why i love it. It can be overwhelming and frustrating at times, for sure, but so is anything worth learning. It's feeding my need to question, learn, and then achieve. I love the potential it has to be endlessly exciting my curiosity, the satisfaction it gives, and the unlimited world of wonder.

Birthday Moon Show! Noooo not that kind! {110:365}

Birthday Moon Show! Noooo not that kind! {110:365}
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden

My aunt emailed to tell me this only happens once every hundred years, a lunar eclipse on my birthday. The last one was in 1638, apparently! The moon decided to 'go all out' (ooh so bad I'm sorry!) for the big 2-7!
I attempted some shots to document this rare event, but I'm only working with the entry level 75-300 canon zoom so I wasn't expecting much. That said, I'm pleasantly surprised, for what I've got!

But it made me feel pretty special, and as I stood there, I remarked "Man, it really is my year, huh?" to which Andy replied "Which? The one ending or the one you are starting?"
It made me really stop and think, and here's what I've concluded. I'm gunna get greedy and say, "both!" because really, I get to choose. I get to make the decisions that will continue the amazingness trend from this year to the next. And I'm blessed to be able to do so.



Thanks dps for the tips on how to make this happen!

we may not always compose the moment, but at least we can compose the memory

we may not always compose the moment, but at least we can compose the memory
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

we may not always compose the moment, but at least we can compose the memory

when i look through a camera's viewfinder, i see color, i see light, i see freedom.
the freedom to create, to compose, to share with others what i see and how i see it. to speak through what i choose to have in focus. to show a little bit of me in what i choose as my subjects. to appreciate the little things that no one else sees, the hues, the angles, the details.
the magical ability to steal and paint with a moment. to stop time. to take a deep breath, and sigh happiness as i give myself the time to be grateful for the beauty i'm lucky enough to be viewing.

whiplash [28 of 365 and 6 of 52]

whiplash [28 of 365 and 6 of 52]
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

Slider Sunday: Uncle Jessie Admires the bokeh

Slider Sunday: Uncle Jessie Admires the bokeh
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

So this isn't the last you'll see of this cat, whose name "Uncle Jessie" according to its collar. But it isn't my cat, and here's the story: We left to pick up my computer from getting its new hard drive (btw !!) and this cat crossed in front of my car. When we returned a half hour later, and closed the door to our apartment, I heard "meeow!" The cat was at our door and wanted to come in!

So we let him/her in and she proceeded to make herself quite at home for an hour or so, allowing me to take tons of photos of her loveliness! We left the door open so she could come and go as she pleased, but she spent most of her time inside, speaking to us and cleaning herself. She came and went 3 times, until finally she found a shady spot outside to settle. My, how nice it was to have a furry visitor!!

{grow a woman from the ground}

{grow a woman from the ground}
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

Um so this was viewed 600+ times in one day, yesterday, from an unknown source. Anyone with any ideas as to how I can trace it, figure out who is linking it/me? Its kinda creepy to get that much traffic and not know how!

nature's colors {10.365}

nature's colors {10.365}
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

I think it pisses God off if you walk by the color purple in a field somewhere and don't notice it.... People think pleasing God is all God care about. But any fool living in the world can see it always trying to please us back. ~Alice Walker, The Color Purple, 1982

stemming from minimalism

stemming from minimalism
Originally uploaded by tumbleweed.in.eden {cararosephotos}

{like a vintage t u m b l e w e e d in eden}

{like a vintage t u m b l e w e e d in eden}
Originally uploaded by cara.rose.photos.

this was a great night to take pictures. i am so happy when i envision an image for a photograph and they turn out slightly better! check out more on the flickr page! :)

...in every way.

...in every way.
Originally uploaded by cararosephotos

Her necklace, and her...

Her necklace, and her...
Originally uploaded by cararosephotos

A lot going on over at Flickr these days! It's a blast, but will die down soon as I've finally been employed! As much as I'll miss the free time for photography, its a huge relief to have an income again, in order to pay for this hobby!

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

don't come around here anymore.

Sorry for the lack of posts; I'm expressing myself in different ways these days :)

My website

My flickr

february 12 untitled

you were my experimental design
an attempt to isolate the variables
but in this domain
qualitative is king
and life cannot be lived out of context
to calibrate was compulsory
logic lesson learned
logically logic cannot
reason that not based upon reason

Life...

"Now you just dig them in front. They have worries, they're counting the miles, they're thinking about where to sleep tonight, how much money for gas, the weather, how they'll get there-& all the time they'll get there anyway, you see. But they need to worry & betray time with urgencies false & otherwise, purely anxious & whiny, their souls really won't be at peace unless they can latch on to an established & proven worry & having once found it they assume facial expressions to fit & go with it, which is, you see, unhappiness, & all the time it all flies by them & they know it & that TOO worries them to no end."

-On the Road, Jack Kerouac

home.

roots like an organ rejected

unsown in this dusty dry earth

minutes and miles appended

with the knowledge of what home is worth

home, where those feathers are tended

allowing the flight to be free

home, where inspired the travel

and love that it helped me to see

now when imagined a home

place need not be defined

face eyes arms, a scent and a man

and of course such a beautiful mind

Friday the 13th...

...is the opposite of cursed and unlucky for me.

One beautiful Friday the 13th in July a couple years back, I shared a first kiss with the now love of my life. I had to know if it was there, I had to know if he could be more than my best friend, and so...wow i was just sent into quite the stupor replaying the moment as I tried to decide what to write, gone for a few minutes, now I'm back...

Maybe we broke the bad luck usually associated with that day because it was an upside down kiss. Maybe that was the mystical key to unlocking the next 2 years and counting of unbelievable magic.

Maybe I'm luckier than I deserve, no, not maybe, I am.

And so, I plan to spend the rest of my life expressing my gratefulness to him and the universe.

He, who finds a way through every obstacle with me

He, who finds a way to create magic in every day living

He, who found a way into my heart

He, who found a way to stitch himself there in such a way that I could never stop loving him, even if I tried.

love ain't gunna let you down, no more..

bedridden mumblings

she rests upon a feather

a glint against the breeze

that softly gently lulls her

back into her dreams

the autumn here perfection

in sun in still in light

as summer rests its tired head

too quickly comes the night

but Father Time, while aged and wise,

he's no worse for the wear

there's no rest for the weary here

truths tangled in their hair

he transports awaited answers

minute hand holding mine

and gently softly guides me

to a peace of mind

like the chills that invade her spine

cold crisp winds whistle through

the window pane, the Rio Grande

fevered time peppered true

another dusty sunset highlights

all that she does now know

the seasons change so differently

without the caw of the crow

widening cracks

as our worlds widen, the ground splits. cracks our bound to appear in the foundation. its just whether we build bridges or not that makes the difference. how strong is this bridge?

in five years, i see myself five years older...

...don't get freaked out by the pure light within you
no, don't let it freak you out
just go with it
because if you don't go with it
it will just take you where it wants to be
which is cool too, if you have the time

-chris robinson

as i start to turn my gaze toward graduation in May, the questions are cropping up again. no longer am i free to flow into something (new place to live, new job, new program of study) because first i must flow out. and for some reason, this means i must know the direction of my flow. or so they say.

'where do you see yourself in 5 years?' and 'what are your career goals?' seem to come up every day, and its silly really. talking to a friend last night, he had a great answer, 'i have no plans to stay and i have no plans to leave.' having no plans is what it should be all about. because once you think you have it all figured out, you are just asking to be proven wrong. in any situation. plans, while some people need the security of knowing WHERE they are going, are mostly limiting. what if my friend had plans to leave and a month before doing so, he is faced with a great opportunity? likely he will not view the same opportunity in the same light because he's 'on his way out,' likely the opportunity may not have presented itself to begin with because he's been busy planning his exit and looking to the future, no longer cultivating the same friendships, community bonds, and work bonds, no longer rooting himself to this place.

And anyway, why and for what/who do you need a plan? I suppose if you are looking to make a real impact on the world, make some kind of change that matters, then yes you need a plan, but most of us are just trying to live. So for most of us, what does a plan give us besides a sense, albeit inflated, of importance, a sense of meaning to our lives. But when you get there, to this end point in your goal, do you feel fulfilled? Maybe but I bet its so short lived because it that is how you see the world, you are already onto the next goal, already thinking about the future, never there in the present really enjoying what in reality is all we have, the now.

and while i feel uprooted and in limbo lately, i know it just means i'm staying OPEN to all the possibilities.

its like relationships and marriage...they represent plans as well. plans for a future, plans to stay loyal to this person. once you are in that spot, do you go out as often and meet new people? lets say you do, even...do you approach the new people you meet with the same openness, curiosity, sense of 'what if' and possibility? most people do not. and so you've closed yourself off to possibility. and i'm not saying possibility of meeting another mate, although that IS there, but even just the possibility of an intimate friendship, a deep rewarding bond, but now instead, there are social conventions blocking you from getting to know that person on such a level because it may be perceived the wrong way by your mate, their mate, outside parties, etc. And you assume they have nothing much to offer you since you've already found that 'person for you.' we're so inhibited by our plans and our decisions that we *think* are carved out, set in stone. burn your carvings. throw that stone into the ocean and watch it change form.
stay open.

plans usually limit you because plans are made by you; creations of only what you can imagine, and while some may dare to dream, most of us live in the realm of practicality and likelihood because its safer. you can't imagine something greater, something outside yourself, you don't imagine there are others as enlightening as those people that you've met and know at that moment. and you plan on a narrow foundation. not planning allows you to be open to a wider scope of probabilities, to all those things you thought could never happen, but somehow do (usually right around or after the time you think you've got it all figured out).

there's a quote on my wall that says 'dwell in possibility' and it doesn't mean to always be wanting something else or always be thinking about the future. at least not to me, to me it says, be open, be aware, that it is possible for anything to change at any time, for new doors to open, for old doors you thought would never shut to now be locked, you just never know.

love,

aimless peacock