don't let it happen to you...

...gala posts an inspiring quote today, what its really all about...

Ryan Holiday's food for thought...

"Here's the thing, I could make that all into some dramatic story - like it was this harrowing experience that stays with me - but to be frank, I have almost no recollection of that time...Narration conveniently ignores the day we laid around and watched tv and the week where we were sure we were going to quit but didn't. It's just not honest...We are wired to think a certain way - linearly, towards purpose, in terms of justification..I don't think it's a fight you can win on your own - it takes people on both sides, cynical and optimistic to keep you centered."


please click and read and THINK.

More Lisa Hannigan...

...to fit the morning here...

I have lost you to sleep again

Sleeping as we do

On opposite sides of a venn diagram

I read the time

In shadows on your wall

The shards of light

Through the slats on your window

I ease myself from under your languid arm

I fumble on my boots

And hear you breathe through your alarm

And I disarm it for you

You rarely heed it anyway

I wouldn't want it to intrude upon your dream

School bell ring messing up the play...

'Venn Diagram,' Lisa Hannigan

soapbox alert

I was catching up with a friend back in Jersey last night, and she told me about her best friend's wedding preparation. My friend, we'll call her Marie, is a bridesmaid, and was complaining that the only time her best friend, we'll call her Joan, ever calls anymore is to talk about wedding stuff. Marie said that while she hasn't yet, she'd like to call Joan out on it, and say, "You know...when the wedding is over, what will we have to talk about?"

I quickly responded, "It's never over for people like that. Next it will be the honeymoon, the wedding album will come in after that, then they will start talking about kids, then they will be trying, then she will get pregnant, then it will be about her baby, then the next pregnancy...In other words it will ALWAYS be about HER."

For people like that, it always is. Egocentrism is supposed to be limited to childhood, and young childhood at that. But some people never grow out of it and live their entire lives in terms of what next step will bring them more attention and more validation because they never learn how to do it from within, on their own, and for themselves.

You know those family reunion parties where everyone asks about you and make you feel like your life is so interesting and "on the verge" of big stuff? Do you still go to those parties expecting to be asked all sorts of questions, or have you finally matured to the point of asking OTHERS questions about THEIR lives, realizing that you aren't the ONLY ONE with interesting things happening to you? The kind of people I'm talking about get a high, a validation, from answering all those questions about themselves and, knowingly or unknowingly, plan their lives according to what is the best answer to those questions.

In high school, they get all the attention in the world from their parents about what college they will attend. In college, its all about how they are doing in class, and then what it will mean for their career. Then it becomes all about the first job. Then its the relationship status or search. Must. find. husband. Its finding an answer to "So where's the ring?" or "Is she the one?" Suggestive thoughts being put into your head before you might have even been ready to think about it, or at least before you were ready to make it a priority in your thoughts, and now you no longer have a choice because, "you're not getting any younger you know." (To quote a friend's wise ass response to that one: "You know they passed a law that you can't get married past the age of 28, right?") Joan there will probably never realize that she didn't necessarily decide for herself any of the biggest decisions in her life. And, worse yet, she's probably happy as a clam in her oblivion, and happy because its still ALL ABOUT HER, as long as she keep the timetable tight and interesting, in line with expectations of others, and similar to the people around her, so that she can always be in the baby talk conversation, or the grandkid photo show and tell.

I had another conversation with a friend who wanted to join the Peace Corps after college. Her dad informed her that would be taking a "step back." FROM WHAT? Its HER life...SHE gets to decide the steps, the story, the timetable, the achievements she wants to make, the level on the ladder she wants to hit. What if she doesn't care to get a promotion by the age of 25? And the answer is that he didn't want to deal with the unspoken disapproval of neighbors and family members when he couldn't respond that his daughter just landed that great position; that it somehow reflects badly on him that he raised a daughter who wants to go out and HELP in third world countries!? What is wrong with this picture...I've heard a similar gripe from another father..."Well how will you support a family?" What if I don't plan to have one? What if I can live off a smaller salary for the rest of my life because I don't feel the need to have a jungle gym, minivan, white picket fence, and send two kids to college? Why would I want to when it would only perpetuate this ghastly cycle?

These are the issues that fuel my need to keep a solid hold on my control over my decisions about what is, in the end, my, and ONLY my, life.

Lisa Hannigan: An Ocean and a Rock

What you at my gentle spoken friend

I lack a frame to put you in

When you're an ocean and a rock away

I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat

My fingers wrap around your words

And take the shape of games we play

I feed your words through my buttonholes

I pin them to my fingerless gloves

Green and prone to fraying

Thoughts of you warm my bones

I'm on the way, I'm on the phone

Let's get lost, me and you

An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

Now I am far away from where you lay

Awake the day while you fall to sleep

An ocean and a rock away

I keep you in the pockets of my dresses

And the bristles of my brushes

Spin you into my curls today

I spoon you into my coffee cup

Spin you through a delicate wash

I wear you all day

I wear you all day

Thoughts of you warm my bones

I'm on the way, I'm nearly home

Let's get lost, me and you

An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

*********

how fitting.

Words of Mrazdom

Thanks for potential turning my day around and inspiring me to see the positive energy.

an ocean's night

an ocean's night keeps you from me

never again to see you at seven p.m.

sunshine's droop

reflecting smile's droop

refracting off sparkling moments of solitude

eight hours of my day

eight hours of yours

sixteen hours of sleep

collectively steal our contact

limited time on an already

limited budget

crowded with debits of touch

deep in deficit of skin

still in surplus of love

time isn't money

since it is priceless.

le voyageur de l'esprit

at the intersection of pompous and genius
at the corner of pretention and philosophy
(judgement in the mind of the beholder)
where postulations undulate
and books' breathe contented sighs
romance in the flourish of a pencil
lead appears as love on another full page
a blooming not in soil but in skull
a synapse's spark
lighting the candle
that burns midnight's oil
and illuminates the map
when thought becomes a journey,
journey becomes a thought.
destination is discovery
untouched grounds
founded in freedom
experience untouched
save for one.























for roo

Another travel reflection

In a weary daze

My westerly gaze

Is caught by the rays

stretching out around cloud break

The sun a beacon, calling me back

As the clouds move right to left 

Across my field of vision

Gathering atop my last location

The sounds of bass, piano, and drums

Necessarily drown out

The hungry gluttons that surround me

in a panicked rush to fill their gullets

I turn away to the window

Tears of rain distorting the view

Of the sun setting here

But warming the ground for my arrival

In my western home.

Season without Reason 09

A new Season without Reason is upon us...Here are my reasons for celebrating life that have nothing to do with gifts or holidays:

1. The presence of all digits (phalanges)

2. Digits that come to you in half sleep: 6458

3. Time with family being better and better each visit

4. Planning trips to Paris

5. Hats!

6. Wireless connections that work

7. Guiltless weight gain with the confidence in losing it

8. lovely lovers

9. awesomely brave travelling friends

10. VHS cassettes from 1987.

11. not having to stick to lists of set quantities

12. Cranium,

13. balderdash, 

14. baseball, 

15. jesus avocado,

16. scrabble

17. music

18. Bill Bryson

19. pizza from the NY tri state area

20. Yuengling

21. Mr. Sushi's all-you-can-eat for $22 Peter and Randy Rolls

stuck in minne

yes, it could be worse

and yes, i'll be home soon

but man

this really sucks

especially with the anticipation of my birthday ruined by weather as well

detachment's subdue

wilted, the flower gave all its beauty

only to have its petals left to dry out

crumbled and crunched

like leaves in fall

and falls that leave

quickly

become something else

no longer recognizable

now cold and stark and quiet

the winter that keeps to itself

too cold to stop and chat

but the flower

now only a stem

looking dead

lookinglostforgotten

simply rather

rather simply

flowing with the season

playing 

smartkeeping 

quietlaying 

low

southwestern colddried 

sorrowripped cracked

red dust filling in the space

where novelty's worn thin

pray home will fill in

without

i am most certainly without purpose here

without family

without purpose

without

plan?

Plan:"A detailed proposal" for achievement, "decided on and arranged for in advance."

Both a noun and a verb.  To have a plan to plan.

Take an action to

Make an action.

Moving forward always.

For some its enough to have any plan.

For some it must be one of their own, 

not decided or influenced by their parents or significant other.

For others its too much to even think of a plan, let alone have one.

For me, purpose exists without plan.

Some of the best things in my life have happened to me

When things didn't go as planned

Or when there was no plan for it to happen

For some, plan exists without purpose.

For comfort, to have an answer when asked.

I need not answer to anyone but myself, this I know.

But right now, my self is asking, "What's your plan?"

My purposeless intentions

May need to be questioned

Will staying open

end up slamming doors?

"Once you attain a certain state, life gives you another goal.  The horizon goes on and on running in front of you, you never reach it, you are always on the way--always reaching, just reaching.  And if you understand that, then the whole tension of the mind disappears, because the tension is to seek a goal, to arrive somewhere...Life is not stagnant--it is flowing and flowing, and there is no other shore.  Once you understand this you start enjoying the journey itself.  Each step is a goal, and there is no goal...Then there is no tension because there is nowhere to go, so you cannot go astray."

-Osho

Hold you in my arms

When you kissed my lips with my mouth so full of questions

It's my worried mind that you quiet

Place your hands on my face

Close my eyes and say

Love is a poor man's food

Don't prophesize

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

I could hold you in my arms

I could hold you forever

-Ray LaMontagne

i DO believe in fairies! *clapping*

I'll play this til you come online!!!!!

Águas de Março

É pau, é pedra,
é o fim do caminho
É um resto de toco,
é um pouco sozinho

É um caco de vidro,
é a vida, é o sol
É a noite, é a morte,
é um laço, é o anzol

É peroba do campo,
é o nó da madeira
Caingá, candeia,
é o Matita Pereira

É madeira de vento,
tombo da ribanceira
É o mistério profundo,
é o queira ou não queira

É o vento ventando,
é o fim da ladeira
É a viga, é o vão,
festa da cumeeira

É a chuva chovendo,
é conversa ribeira
Das águas de março,
é o fim da canseira

É o pé, é o chão,
é a marcha estradeira
Passarinho na mão,
pedra de atiradeira

É uma ave no céu,
é uma ave no chão
É um regato, é uma fonte,
é um pedaço de pão

É o fundo do poço,
é o fim do caminho
No rosto o desgosto,
é um pouco sozinho

É um estrepe, é um prego,
é uma conta, é um conto
É uma ponta, é um ponto,
é um pingo pingando

É um peixe, é um gesto,
é uma prata brilhando
É a luz da manhã,
é o tijolo chegando

É a lenha, é o dia,
é o fim da picada
É a garrafa de cana,
o estilhaço na estrada

É o projeto da casa,
é o corpo na cama
É o carro enguiçado,
é a lama, é a lama

É um passo, é uma ponte,
é um sapo, é uma rã
É um resto de mato,
na luz da manhã

São as águas de março
fechando o verão
É a promessa de vida
no teu coração

É uma cobra, é um pau,
é João, é José
É um espinho na mão,
é um corte no pé

É um passo, é uma ponte,
é um sapo, é uma rã
É um belo horizonte,
é uma febre terçã

São as águas de março
fechando o verão
É a promessa de vida
no teu coração

Waters of March

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road,
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

It's a sliver of glass,
It is life, it's the sun,
It is night, it is death,
It's a trap, it's a gun

The oak when it blooms,
A fox in the brush,
A knot in the wood,
The song of a thrush

The wood of the wind,
A cliff, a fall,
A scratch, a lump,
It is nothing at all

It's the wind blowing free,
It's the end of the slope,
It's a beam, it's a void,
It's a hunch, it's a hope

And the river bank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of the strain,
The joy in your heart

The foot, the ground,
The flesh and the bone,
The beat of the road,
A slingshot's stone

A fish, a flash,
A silvery glow,
A fight, a bet,
The range of a bow

The bed of the well,
The end of the line,
The dismay in the face,
It's a loss, it's a find

A spear, a spike,
A point, a nail,
A drip, a drop,
The end of the tale

A truckload of bricks
in the soft morning light,
The shot of a gun
in the dead of the night

A mile, a must,
A thrust, a bump,
It's a girl, it's a rhyme,
It's a cold, it's the mumps

The plan of the house,
The body in bed,
And the car that got stuck,
It's the mud, it's the mud

Afloat, adrift,
A flight, a wing,
A hawk, a quail,
The promise of spring

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
It's the joy in your heart

A stick, a stone,
It's the end of the road
It's the rest of a stump,
It's a little alone

A snake, a stick,
It is John, it is Joe,
It's a thorn in your hand
and a cut in your toe

A point, a grain,
A bee, a bite,
A blink, a buzzard,
A sudden stroke of night

A pin, a needle,
A sting, a pain,
A snail, a riddle,
A wasp, a stain

A pass in the mountains,
A horse and a mule,
In the distance the shelves
rode three shadows of blue

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the promise of life
in your heart, in your heart

A stick, a stone,
The end of the road,
The rest of a stump,
A lonesome road

A sliver of glass,
A life, the sun,
A knife, a death,
The end of the run

And the riverbank talks
of the waters of March,
It's the end of all strain,
It's the joy in your heart.

Ray LaMontagne

"Don't let your mind get weary and confused
Your will be still, don't try
Don't let your heart get heavy child
Inside you there's a strength that lies

Don't let your soul get lonely child
It's only time, it will go by
Don't look for love in faces, places
It's in you, that's where you'll find kindness

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now

Don't lose your faith in me
And I will try not to lose faith in you
Don't put your trust in walls
'Cause walls will only crush you when they fall

Be here now, here now
Be here now, here now "

...with friendship and independence

you're a voice in a box
a face on a screen
some words on some paper
how much does it mean
to chase down this knowing
to seek this unknown
to fill up our minds
and hope our heart's sewn

New Mexico

life through my studying eyes

For someone who has had 24 transitions from summer to fall, this is neverland.
My body and brain prepare for the cold, my eyes remain in wonder, my skin soaks it in, hoping to retain as much as possible for the delayed chill.
Its magical and feels as though I've been blessed with extra time, that my life could possibly go at a slower pace, and be enjoyed more densely with every found second.
land of enchantment, land of entrapment,
my little embankment of sunshine and time.

Nothing Brings Me Down

"Home alone and happy
Nothing brings me down
Full of wine, unsteady
Nothing brings me down
What's left of the rain runs down my roof
Nothing brings me down
The night is lush the air is still
Nothing brings me down

Dum dum dum dum dum dum

The windows are open, the flies are in
Nothing brings me down
The phones are off the music's on
Nothing brings me down

Dum dum dum dum dum dum

Home alone and happy
Nothing brings me down
My love for you is ready
Nothing brings me down
My love for you is ready"

-lyrics from the Emiliana Torrini song