don't let it happen to you...

...gala posts an inspiring quote today, what its really all about...

Ryan Holiday's food for thought...

"Here's the thing, I could make that all into some dramatic story - like it was this harrowing experience that stays with me - but to be frank, I have almost no recollection of that time...Narration conveniently ignores the day we laid around and watched tv and the week where we were sure we were going to quit but didn't. It's just not honest...We are wired to think a certain way - linearly, towards purpose, in terms of justification..I don't think it's a fight you can win on your own - it takes people on both sides, cynical and optimistic to keep you centered."


please click and read and THINK.

More Lisa Hannigan...

...to fit the morning here...

I have lost you to sleep again

Sleeping as we do

On opposite sides of a venn diagram

I read the time

In shadows on your wall

The shards of light

Through the slats on your window

I ease myself from under your languid arm

I fumble on my boots

And hear you breathe through your alarm

And I disarm it for you

You rarely heed it anyway

I wouldn't want it to intrude upon your dream

School bell ring messing up the play...

'Venn Diagram,' Lisa Hannigan

soapbox alert

I was catching up with a friend back in Jersey last night, and she told me about her best friend's wedding preparation. My friend, we'll call her Marie, is a bridesmaid, and was complaining that the only time her best friend, we'll call her Joan, ever calls anymore is to talk about wedding stuff. Marie said that while she hasn't yet, she'd like to call Joan out on it, and say, "You know...when the wedding is over, what will we have to talk about?"

I quickly responded, "It's never over for people like that. Next it will be the honeymoon, the wedding album will come in after that, then they will start talking about kids, then they will be trying, then she will get pregnant, then it will be about her baby, then the next pregnancy...In other words it will ALWAYS be about HER."

For people like that, it always is. Egocentrism is supposed to be limited to childhood, and young childhood at that. But some people never grow out of it and live their entire lives in terms of what next step will bring them more attention and more validation because they never learn how to do it from within, on their own, and for themselves.

You know those family reunion parties where everyone asks about you and make you feel like your life is so interesting and "on the verge" of big stuff? Do you still go to those parties expecting to be asked all sorts of questions, or have you finally matured to the point of asking OTHERS questions about THEIR lives, realizing that you aren't the ONLY ONE with interesting things happening to you? The kind of people I'm talking about get a high, a validation, from answering all those questions about themselves and, knowingly or unknowingly, plan their lives according to what is the best answer to those questions.

In high school, they get all the attention in the world from their parents about what college they will attend. In college, its all about how they are doing in class, and then what it will mean for their career. Then it becomes all about the first job. Then its the relationship status or search. Must. find. husband. Its finding an answer to "So where's the ring?" or "Is she the one?" Suggestive thoughts being put into your head before you might have even been ready to think about it, or at least before you were ready to make it a priority in your thoughts, and now you no longer have a choice because, "you're not getting any younger you know." (To quote a friend's wise ass response to that one: "You know they passed a law that you can't get married past the age of 28, right?") Joan there will probably never realize that she didn't necessarily decide for herself any of the biggest decisions in her life. And, worse yet, she's probably happy as a clam in her oblivion, and happy because its still ALL ABOUT HER, as long as she keep the timetable tight and interesting, in line with expectations of others, and similar to the people around her, so that she can always be in the baby talk conversation, or the grandkid photo show and tell.

I had another conversation with a friend who wanted to join the Peace Corps after college. Her dad informed her that would be taking a "step back." FROM WHAT? Its HER life...SHE gets to decide the steps, the story, the timetable, the achievements she wants to make, the level on the ladder she wants to hit. What if she doesn't care to get a promotion by the age of 25? And the answer is that he didn't want to deal with the unspoken disapproval of neighbors and family members when he couldn't respond that his daughter just landed that great position; that it somehow reflects badly on him that he raised a daughter who wants to go out and HELP in third world countries!? What is wrong with this picture...I've heard a similar gripe from another father..."Well how will you support a family?" What if I don't plan to have one? What if I can live off a smaller salary for the rest of my life because I don't feel the need to have a jungle gym, minivan, white picket fence, and send two kids to college? Why would I want to when it would only perpetuate this ghastly cycle?

These are the issues that fuel my need to keep a solid hold on my control over my decisions about what is, in the end, my, and ONLY my, life.

Lisa Hannigan: An Ocean and a Rock

What you at my gentle spoken friend

I lack a frame to put you in

When you're an ocean and a rock away

I feel you in the pocket of my overcoat

My fingers wrap around your words

And take the shape of games we play

I feed your words through my buttonholes

I pin them to my fingerless gloves

Green and prone to fraying

Thoughts of you warm my bones

I'm on the way, I'm on the phone

Let's get lost, me and you

An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

Now I am far away from where you lay

Awake the day while you fall to sleep

An ocean and a rock away

I keep you in the pockets of my dresses

And the bristles of my brushes

Spin you into my curls today

I spoon you into my coffee cup

Spin you through a delicate wash

I wear you all day

I wear you all day

Thoughts of you warm my bones

I'm on the way, I'm nearly home

Let's get lost, me and you

An ocean and a rock is nothing to me

*********

how fitting.

Words of Mrazdom

Thanks for potential turning my day around and inspiring me to see the positive energy.

an ocean's night

an ocean's night keeps you from me

never again to see you at seven p.m.

sunshine's droop

reflecting smile's droop

refracting off sparkling moments of solitude

eight hours of my day

eight hours of yours

sixteen hours of sleep

collectively steal our contact

limited time on an already

limited budget

crowded with debits of touch

deep in deficit of skin

still in surplus of love

time isn't money

since it is priceless.